Baby Registry Guide for the Smart New Mom – Part 1

Something is in the Water

My younger sister (32) is having her first baby, and it’s a girl! That means, I’m going to be an aunt for the first time! On top of that, my sister-in-law (SIL) is also pregnant and only a few weeks behind my sister. Something is in the water because everyone is getting pregnant! Maybe I’ll be having a third soon? Haha just kidding, Mr. Jo. Don’t want you to have a heart attack.

Have No Clue? You’re Not Alone.

Since my sister’s due date is coming up on 10/28/18, she is starting to think about her baby registry. Similar to many other new moms, she’s not sure where to start. Just this week, my brother-in-law (BIL) and sister-in-law (SIL) came home to visit for a couple of days before their babymoon. They had a bunch of questions about what they need for the baby and even more importantly, what they don’t need to waste money on. Additionally, they are moving from Manhattan to a one bedroom apartment in Flushing, New York. As you can imagine, space is limited. They don’t want to buy a bunch of bulky things that are not essential.

You Live and You Learn

Sadly, I did get somewhat caught up in the commercialism of the baby industry. I put several items on my baby registry just because I thought I needed “the best” for my baby. For example, we registered for the super expensive muslin swaddles (it’s just a piece of fabric!). In addition, we purchased a designer crib and dresser set and then went for the custom nursery recliner. Of course, when it all arrived, we were not all that happy with the furniture. The dresser was damaged and had to be shipped back. The recliner would click if we rocked it too far back. Therefore, we had to return that too, twice! Not surprisingly, when Jo Jr. grew teeth, he put a bunch of baby teeth marks in the rail of the crib. Nice stuff does not stay nice when you have kids around y’all.

With my second child, I learned from my mistakes and bought an $80 convertible crib from Ikea and a $300 recliner on Wayfair. Jo Jr. was still using his crib and furniture, or else we would have passed those down to Missy Jo. This time around, I borrowed a bunch of clothes and used hand-me-downs whenever possible. To this day, I think I have purchased less than 10 items of clothing for Missy Jo. Thankfully, I bought gender neutral gear and toys for Jo Jr. whenever possible. We use all of those items now for Missy Jo. All in all, I probably saved at least a few thousand dollars this time around.

Which Type of Mom are You?

The Minimalist Mom

Space Constraints

If you’re like my SIL in New York who is limited by space constraints, you’ll need to find items for your baby registry that are compact and versatile. I would scrap anything that’s not essential. For example, instead of buying a crib right away, I would suggest using a pack ‘n’ play until the baby grows out of it. We kept Missy Jo in the pack ‘n’ play in our room until 6 months. Check out the American Academy of Pediatrics’ recommendations for safe sleep here. Keeping baby in your room for preferably 1 year but at least 6 months decreases the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).

After that, you can put the pack ‘n’ play away and think about buying a compact convertible crib converts to a toddler bed.

Buy and Resell

Another tip, I use sites like Craigslist, OfferUp, 5 Miles, and LetGo as my personal storage unit. What I mean is, I buy high quality used (and often times new) items at a discount and then resell it when I’m done with them so it’s not cluttering my house. A lot of times, I end up spending $0 or even making money.

Versatility is Key

When you’re limited by space, you must be flexible. My SIL asked if she really needed a baby changing table on her baby registry. Half the time, I’m changing Missy Jo’s diaper on the floor, so I wouldn’t say it’s a must. If you have room for a dresser, you can buy a changing pad and attach it to the top. Bam, changing table! Since my SIL does not have room for a dresser, I told her to get a portable changing pad and change the baby’s diaper on her bed, the couch, the floor, anywhere! Plus, you can stick the portable changing pad in your mom purse when you’re on-the-go and forgo the diaper bag altogether.

The Frugal Mom

Used is the New Black

Nowadays, I would consider myself a frugal mom. It’s nice to have the extra conveniences and special gadgets sometimes, but I don’t want to pay full price for them. My idea of frugalism is getting as much as I can for free, borrowing when I can, and buying the other essentials used or at a discount. It took me one whole baby to get over the stigma of buying used items. For some reason, it seemed dirty or something. As you can imagine though, most baby items are designed for easy cleaning, so that’s really not a concern. Just this week, I bought a super cute summer dress for Missy Jo at Kid 2 Kid (baby resale store) for $1!! Can’t beat that.

Find Your Tribe

If you don’t already have a network of other mommies, I would suggest seeking out a mommy group near your house. There is a fantastic mommy’s group through Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital by my house in Plano. You don’t even have to deliver at their hospital to join the group. They have free weekly sessions where they offer support and bring in speakers on topics such as breastfeeding, car seat installation, fire safety and more. I attended these during maternity leave and they were a lifesaver. Also, it’s a fantastic way to offer and receive emotional support and share ideas as well as baby stuff.

Notably, I met some of my best friends through that group after I delivered Jo Jr. almost 4 years ago. We still have weekly play dates that I try to go to when I’m off of work. My really good mommy friend, Thao, had her daughter around the same time as we had Jo Jr. Then, she had her son around the same time we had Missy Jo. Like the frugal geniuses we are, we traded my boys clothes for her girls clothes and neither of us have had to buy any additional clothing for our youngest.

In addition, I would recommend joining mommy Facebook groups. With so many options out there, you can find people that have the same ideals and interests as you and bounce ideas off of each other.

Safety First

On the other hand, you don’t want to be frugal when it comes to safety. Specifically, do not buy a used car seat or car seat base. You never know whether those items have been in car accidents or if they are functioning properly. I always make sure to check the expiration dates on the car seats we buy. Obviously, try to find the one with the latest expiration date just like milk at the grocery store.

Do Your Research

For this frugal mom, I don’t want to spend money when it’s not necessary, but I will pay for value. That means, I always do my research before I give up my coins. One of the best resources that a fellow mommy anesthesiologist introduced me to was the Baby Bargains book. It reviews the best baby registry products in every category and gives you the pros and cons of each. The book makes value recommendations, and we often went with those products.

In addition to book and internet research, ask other mommies. Hopefully, you’ll have found your mommy tribe and you can get lots of trustworthy opinions on products that your friends have actually used. Remember, every baby is different and every mommy is different. So, what works for one person may not work for you or your baby. That’s why I recommend asking lots of different people, especially those with similar interests and lifestyles as you.

The Convenience Mom

Goal: Make it Out Alive

Being a first time mom can be very overwhelming. You are sleep-deprived, everything hurts, and you’re often at home by yourself on maternity leave. If it means shelling out a few extra dollars to make life just a little bit easier, then go for it. I have definitely been there. During the newborn phase, my goal is just for baby and I to both make it out alive.

Cut Yourself Some Slack

Remember, don’t beat yourself up or try to do everything perfectly. If you can breastfeed, then do it. If it hurts too much or it just isn’t the right fit for you, you can always pump exclusively or use formula. Don’t forget, FED is best. An important note, the Affordable Care Act requires insurance companies to supply all moms with a new breast pump free of charge with each baby. Call your insurance company to find out which supplier you need to go through.

Kiinde Feeding System

Luckily, there are so many gadgets out there for the specific purpose of making our mommy lives easier. One of my favorite convenience items was the Kiinde feeding system. It’s a milk storage and bottle feeding system all in one. It comes with adaptors for the most common breastpumps and allows you to pump milk directly into storage bags. Then, you put the plastic sleeve over the storage bag and attach a nipple. Wha-la! You’ve got a bottle! The best part for me was that I didn’t have to wash any bottles, just the nipple. I can’t tell you how much time this has saved me.

Baby Registry Guide for the Smart New Mom – Part 2 – Sleeping and Soothing

Baby Registry Guide for the Smart New Mom – Part 3 – Feeding, Furniture, and Gear

Baby Registry Guide for the Smart New Mom – Part 4 – Diapers and Bathing

Baby Registry Guide for the Smart New Mom – Part 5 – Clothes, Toys, and Babyproofing

Baby Registry Guide for the Smart New Mom – Part 6 – Miscellaneous and Baby Registry Don’t’s!